Around fifteen years of age, I dreamt of this beautiful, naked woman
Around fifteen years of age, I dreamt of this beautiful, naked woman, even though I hadn't honestly seen a naked woman before. Of course, I knew the anatomy, but my dream detailed her so raw, so true, it was like I was looking at something I shouldn't be seeing. She was ethereal, nothing like what I've ever seen in this realm. And I remember staring, experiencing this strange feeling as I turned into an animal, only to then have my way with her. I penetrated her with my ugliness, my weak, premature energy spoiling her nature. It took me eight years to make sense of that dream. I made nothing of it as a teenager, but it stuck with me, and as an adult, I realised how meaningful this dream was to my puberty and transition out of boyhood. I dreamt of this female to better understand the feminine to become a man.
See, I think our mother's leave us all with a maternal-like force that propagates the maturation of our emotions and energy. However, it's common for men to cut themselves off from this internal force as they follow social and cultural customs to become a man; not realising this rejection causes them to remain a boy. We're all birthing ourselves constantly, but destroying the "her" within us deforms our ability to develop into adults. So that woman in my dream was my femininity, and ever since I accepted her, my masculinity has benefited.