Identity is a broad yet sensitive topic. It concerns the realisation of oneself and the collective understanding of who we are as a society and culture. There's immense depth to this topic across the spectrum of psychology, philosophy, history, politics - so there's only so much I can write.
Philosophically, who you are can not be said, only felt. The moment you say who you are with absolute sincerity, you've fooled yourself because words are not bodies of truth. They are echoes, verbal imitations of your social surroundings. The primary attempt of words is not to communicate or understand, it's to tell a story, and psychologically, I believe our obsession with telling stories is because we never recovered from the trauma of acquiring a level of consciousness that revealed the fragility of our existence and insignificance; we needed distraction. For be it by mistake or intervention, our kind fast-tracked the evolution of awareness and consequently has been on a tragic, heartbreaking self-explorative path ever since.
Historically, we have made bizarre decisions that can only be rationalised as a collective mental breakdown spanning thousands and thousands of years. Wars, religions, traditions, monarchies, governments, careers - these are stories brought into action through words for a sense of identity. And we can still see this in the 21st century. We climb aboard these identity-defining vehicles, cultural movements, and share narratives to escape the universe backdrop. Gender pronouns is one of them - your race is another. What you feel is who you are, not the verbal translation. Hence, self-understanding is confusing because we care more about defining the feeling than feeling. Therefore, when we do feel - it's not real unless it's termed. I'm not saying never to term yourself or anything else, but don't make this your priority or take it seriously. Instead, be willing to disengage from the chatter within the vehicle and turn around to that universe backdrop. Be ready to face truth, not merely speak of it - and feel what surfaces within to clarify who you are, what you want, and where you desire to be.